So, for the second time last night i tried acid and ive decided that i will not do acid ever again and nothing will ever persuade me otherwise. why? well, the first time about two weeks ago i took it in a sugarcube dosage. at first, i had a bad trip for maybe an hour but then it was amazing and fun and i could handle it and i was able to sleep. however, this time i took one and a half on a paper blotter and jesus christ, i thought i had died many times last night. i burst out into tears for like ten minutes, smeared my make up everywhere. then laughed uncontrollably. i shivered most the night and the rooms were all melting into one. i was scared and paranoid and i tried to delve myself into mario but alas, nothing. i freaked out when seth wouldnt get off the computer and almost burst into tears again. t hen we walked to cvs and whcih i dont remember that walk at all because i was clinging to seth's arm the whole time. i felt like i was floating.
i swear to god i had like five out of body experiances and thought i was going to die. i just wasent in the right mindset at all and i felt like i couldnt breathe or anything. it got better after a while but it was just so uncomfortable, i dont think its something im going to do again. i'll stick with my potsmoking and occasionally might roll, but pretty much, all other drugs can stay outta my life because im not down. and im even scared to try shrooms now. i had feeling out of control. id much rather just get really high and enjoy it for a few hours tili pass out. not where i lie in bed for hours, watching my boyfriend sleep and trying to rid my mind of all the crosses and demons that were floating around, ughhhh.
scary. and at least with rolling i can cuddle and feel wanted and elated. dude, when youre on acid, you either feel like no one wants you or something it's weird. forget that, no more.